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Feasting on Perspective


Loving some time with my mischievous Kiera- Oct 2010

‘I just can’t cope with this anymore!’ Even as the words jumped up and out of my mouth, I hated them and wished I could pull them back… or better yet throw them into a black hole of oblivion. The racing clouds above me made it cold or warm in turn and I was speed-pushing the double-pram up the street to Aria’s school. Though Kiera was complaining of a sore leg, I was forcing her to ride her scooter, determined to keep her OUT of the pram (she IS four afterall!), yet still moving along at a fair pace. I was running late—again. I felt like life was beginning to run on fast forward and it was causing stress to ooze out of every pore. And Kiera, needless to say, was not very happy with all this. She heard my words and turned back from where she pushed herself along up ahead and said firmly, ‘You CAN cope with it.’ I was thankful for that truth from my little daughter’s assertion. ‘Thanks Kiera’, I said sincerely, seeing her point. ‘I needed that.’

This was yesterday afternoon as I did the notorious and often ominous, school-run. But it could have been most mornings or afternoons when I’m on my way up to the school. I have a thing about being on time, but having three to four children to get ready for ‘the run’ means I often miss my mark. As of late, with more going on in my life, this stress over the ticking clock has been getting out of hand.

All this flashed through my mind at discipleship group last night as Rob asked us to picture our funeral… imagine what we wanted to hear people say about us. There were four different categories of people, but by far, the one I considered most is what would my family, namely my kids, have to say about me? If I kept going on my current, out-of-control trajectory, they might be thinking, ‘Well, she rushed us a lot, lost her cool if we did something wrong, and was more concerned with being on time to things than with giving us time.’ Yikes! Not the person I want to be. The present focus of our group is imagining the person we want to be and making our life decisions (big and little) to aim us toward that place. And, when I remember to do that, it is SO helpful. I’ve been thinking about it all day. And today has had a vastly different flavour than what my days have tasted like of late. There’s no real difference in how the timetable of my day is spread out; but choosing to see ‘being late’ in perspective and taking the time to enjoy the kids on our school run rather than feeling stressed the whole time, made for a vast improvement—not only within me internally, but also with how the kids felt. They were obviously lighter in their spirits.
One of the things I loved about living in community was that it made me think more before I let out my steam, before letting it escalate to a shrill pitch. It made me aware of how I sounded, how I reacted. I tend to let my guard down when it’s just my family I’m around—God forgive me. But as the Psalms say over and over again, His mercy is new every morning. I started today with that ‘Rachel’ in mind that I want to be. May God give me the grace to have that same ‘eternal’ perspective tomorrow.

Listening- April 2011

4 Responses to “Feasting on Perspective”

  1. Jessica
    June 30th, 2011 16:18

    thanks for the timely reminder, dear sis!

  2. Rachel
    July 1st, 2011 15:47

    Glad you read it here, Jess… there’s space for more pics here rather than there:). xo

  3. Jessica
    July 1st, 2011 16:15

    i know… love the pics! xo

  4. Bri
    July 8th, 2011 13:50

    Beautiful. I needed this.

    And I adore that last picture. Swoon.


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