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Where did the time go?

by:John

It just doesn’t seem like eight whole months have already gone by. And, yet the reality hits me square in the face when ever I think of leaving in only a month. I mean, it’s not really as bad as it may sound. But, honestly, I’m not really feeling like I want to go right now.
Most of that emotion comes from the fact that I’ve been getting pretty attached to the website that I have been working on for the last few months. But, the real issue is that I want to see it succeed, and there is just so much more that needs to be done. I won’t bore you with the specifics of it, but let me just say it creates an interesting dynamic for me.
Anyway, the wheels are in motion already, and there really is a lot to look forward to. For example, I’ll be seeing my family again in a short month. Not only that but my sister is getting married!!!! Not only will we be seeing my family, but we’ll be re connecting with tons of friends in Syracuse. And, if that weren’t enough, we’ll be moving to UK in four months to experience a brand new culture and be a part of a young church. Honestly, it does sound good, so why do I feel so sad when I think about leaving?
Well, I think that largely it has to do with a desire to do good. I mean, everyone wants a chance to make a difference in the world right? We don’t always make all the decisions that we should to actually make a difference but, I think that most people would really like to see their life count for something; I know I do. Well, it’s really cool to see the potential that God has laid out before me in the recent months as I have been pushing forward on this project. But, the important thing to remember here is that my ability to have a real, tangible positive effect on this world is not based on location, job or anything like that. Rather, it is based on Christ in me. I’m trying to hold on to the fact that if I abide in Christ, He promises that I will bear real fruit. And, the fruit that He promises that I will bear is the very sustenance required for changing lives. So, I can abide in Him here, there, and everywhere and know that it will bear fruit.
Seeing what God has done in and through me over these last eight months (mostly in me) has really served to encourage me about what He wants to continue to use me for. I’m still a little sad, even though I know I will be able to have impact in other places. Without ever trying to, I fell in love with people here, and God shared His heart with me for the Indian people. Nevertheless, my role is to be obedient and trust. And, I shall trust Him with the things that I treasure most. My family. My own life. And… my webproject. 🙂

One Response to “Where did the time go?”

  1. nona
    September 11th, 2006 11:20
    1

    John, I understand your sadness and I know that cbnindia will feel it too when it is time to go. It has been such a wonderful opportunity for you to make such a difference in the lives of so many and to use your intellectual abilities at the same time. I had hoped that the opportunity may have presented itself for you to stay andwork for cbn….anyway iwill look forward to seeing you soon in ny.

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