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Trials of Being an Alien


Here I am, an alien, and I hate it.  I didn’t realize how much I really hated it until we went to my immigration appointment and discovered that I was not a desirable addition to the great United States of America, not even as a resident.  By the way, I’m not joking about being an alien — not an illegal, but an alien nevertheless.  You see, I’m a Canadian citizen — a British citizen too, as a matter of fact; I can live and work and freely breathe in any one of twenty-one European countries of the world along with the vast nation of Canada.  They’re at my fingertips.  But I’m having troubles even residing in this one even though both my husband and daughter are American citizens.  Basically, the only problem is that I’m sorely misunderstood.

 Misunderstanding seems to go along with choosing to pour your time, energy, and life into missions.  Family misunderstands.  Friends misunderstand.  Immigration misunderstands.  I find myself fighting a losing battle to find my place in society.  Poor me, right?  Well, I do find myself feeling that way sometimes and find that I need to step back from the story of my life and see the full picture that’s being painted.  What I would like to yell from the roof-tops sometimes is, "NO!  I don’t like asking for money (believe it or not), and YES! I would find it easier to get a job, an apartment, and a life, thank you very much!"  Some people still wouldn’t believe me of course, but yelling might relieve some stress.  The fact is, I’m trying to set my eyes on something beyond the present, even beyond the future.  This Earth, as she stands, is not my home; I will never find a home while I reside here in this present state of being.

I find it fitting that our e-mail address is "sojourners".  Enoch knew this place wasn’t home; Abraham knew this as well.  They were simply sojourning, setting their eyes beyond what one naturally sees and having them opened to the reality of what truly is real.  Something so much bigger than all we can know.  C.S. Lewis, a famous British writer of the twentieth century, concluded, "If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world."

 So, even if I get my permanent residency (i.e. green card), I have to accept the fact that I will still be an alien.  Ouch.  Oh well.  Jesus promises in Mark 10:29-30, "…no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields — and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life."  Well, there’s food for thought.  I’m promised persecution.  Can I accept that?  Yes I can because I see what else is promised (eternal life) and I know the faithfulness of my Father.  I also know that one day I will return home — there’ll be a warm fire in the hearth, a steaming cup of tea, a roomful of friends, and, among them, my holy Saviour.  May he look on me with eyes of love and say, "Well done, my dear, faithful daughter."

2 Responses to “Trials of Being an Alien”

  1. Jason DeVerna
    November 13th, 2005 23:18

    My wife and I know how you feel. We had to go through it all too. It is amazing that everyday so many illegal aliens live right here on American soil, and have not problem, but when someone does it the right way the government seems to make that impossible. At times I thought that I might lose my wife because it became too stressful. You know better than me, that it is in His time and not ours. Just wanted to let you know that we understand your frustration. When you explain things to people that have never had this type of experience they can only act like they know what you are going through. We will pray for you and your family. Say hi to John and the baby for us. God Bless

    Jason and Kim DeVerna

  2. Charissa
    November 14th, 2005 15:45


    God has blessed you with intelligence, emotion, and patience. You have wisely concluded that many people (and entities) misunderstand you and your purpose. You have expressed emotional frustration of having to fight an uphill battle with a country that should be welcoming you with open arms. You have also displayed patience and perserverence in not giving up on what needs to be done. I am confident that you will get that residency and I will pray to God to make it easier on you. It’s hard to understand why such injustices exist, but at least you have the comfort and guidance of Our Father to help you rise above. Don’t give up. I love you guys.


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