Adam’s Testimony

I was born in 1973 to a sixteen year old mother and an eighteen year old father. When I was four years old they were divorced. At age five I began to have homosexual thoughts and felt great shame and fear. I went to church on and off throughout my childhood and believed in God from a young age. But because of my homosexual feelings I was both angry and ashamed when coming to God. My mother remarried when I was nine, and by this time I had a distrust toward men. At age thirteen the pressures of dysfunctional family life and pains in my childhood led me to a life of drug addiction. At age sixteen I moved to Kansas City, Missouri, to live with my aunt who is a born again believer. During my stay there I received the Lord as my personal savior. But soon after, my birth father in LA was willing to take me in.
Though my experience in Kansas City was significant to initiate my relationship with God, I was not there long enough to get discipled in the Word. I had never confessed my homosexual desires and at age seventeen I began experimenting. I got into the modeling industry in LA for a season where the glamour of the world and the lust of the flesh took over. By eighteen I had a boyfriend, I was back on drugs and on my way to San Francisco.
In San Francisco I got very involved in the underground club scene and drug dealing. I would pray on occasion when things would get scary, and I began to see more clearly. God started to reveal His will for me as well as the reality of the evil one. At twenty, I had broken up with my boyfriend, but was still a heavy drug user. Through times of prayer the fear of the Lord would come upon me and I knew I needed a drug treatment program. I was living and working with some of the biggest drug dealers in San Francisco, including mafia, and even some that were involved in witchcraft at a high level. At the end of my drug run, I was promoting a party called “Filth”, in a venue called “The Pit”, downtown. On night while at the Pit, I made up my mind that I was finished living this destructive lifestyle. One of my so-called friends urged me to go out once more, so I went with him to a party. I began noticing my surroundings with hyper-clarity and everything was becoming more and more evil. People were mocking me, acting suspicious, and giving me dirty looks. At approximately 6:30 a.m. on the fifth of May 1994 during this same party run, I left the first party to go to my favorite club. It was a venue called the “End Up”; it opened 6:00 a.m. every Sunday, and everyone called it ‘church’. On arrival my favorite song was playing and I began to hear the lyrics in a new light—the song sounded very condemning. At that moment a man who was involved with running some of the first gay clubs in San Francisco started accusing me of being the devil. Everyone present on the dance floor began laughing at me and mocking me. Then one of the drug dealers who claimed to be a sorceress asked me to leave with her. I thought she would help me.
She took me in her car to a dead end alley in San Francisco. On arrival, an ambulance and police car showed up with sirens blaring. At this point, I was in terror thinking I was going to hell in the cruelest way. The policeman bound me and threw me in the back of the ambulance. While I was lying there, the sorceress began telling me why I was condemned, reminding me of what I had done; all the while the police and ambulance crew were working with her. To say that I felt utterly lost and hopeless at this point is putting it lightly, but there are no words to describe the disgrace and terror of being hell-bound. I thought, “I may as well pray.” After all, it couldn’t hurt. So I repented, and asked the Lord if he would ever leave me or forsake me. Just then, I was flooded with peace and direction from the Spirit. He prompted me to pray silently and to bless those who cursed me, so I complied. More peace flooded me and the Lord told me that if I held my peace and let him fight my battle, I would be victorious. The sorceress then tried to get me to bow to her, declaring herself to be my goddess. I silently prayed that, “I would rather be floating in the San Francisco Bay than be bowing to this woman”. She became irate and said that I would never change and that I would be destroyed. The ambulance then took me to San Francisco General Hospital where they checked me into the 51/50 section, or the ‘psyche ward’. As they were wheeling me on a stretcher into a separate room, I passed a naked, deformed, and demonized man. He was using profanity and threatening to kill me. I began to pray silently, entreating the Lord to save me. Just then this man started screaming, “Nurse! Nurse! Shut him up! Shut him up!” Then I knew that the Lord had delivered me, and I told the nurse I was ready to leave. After my release I thanked God and asked him to lead me. He eventually led me to Victory Outreach in Salinas, California, where I got discipled in the Word, prayer, and practical evangelistic ministry. I have been praising the Lord ever since.

Those who have been forgiven much will love much.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 7th, 2004 at 11:27 pm and is filed under Testimonies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.